Resolution Revisted

My Thought on Resolutions

I think that is common to see at the end of a year that one may have failed miserably in fulfilling their New Year's Resolution. One cause of that fault is because the person has likely lost sight of it. I admit, that I have forgotten until it popped into my mind now. I'd like to remind us that my hope is to love well this year. It has been easy, I know for me, to get wrapped up in the demands of daily life. I have not phoned home in probably a couple months--this is referring to having an open-hearted, share about life talk.

When I am away at college, I have felt a little disconnected from home, I have some fear that if I extend and embrace the relationships I have in California, I will become too fond of home that I will actually admit I am homesick. I know I am a person who loves deeply, which means that I often want to be where the people I love are. I am closing on the remaining 3 weeks of my senior year. That. Stuns. Me. I realize that I have spent a lot of energy focusing on the wrong things. One senses they have not gone too far, when they are not certain of where they want to head toward.

How this Resolution Came About

I remind myself that one reason I came to CIU is so that I would be part of a graduating class size that makes it possible to get to know those whom I will graduate with.  This desire extends to wanting to know the people in my school.

My freshman self would say that I was good at this then. Though then, I wasn't trying. I just felt secure in who I was.  I would go to all the organized social events, constantly initiate conversations of introductions with whoever I met, I established good friendships, watched Netflix on the weekends often, and joined the weekly movie nights in the theater rooms on campus. I didn't realize that I was loving until one of my upperclassmen friends told me "you are good at loving people".  I think the key to that was not expecting anything in return and loving what is.

Obstacles to Loving Well

Across the three following years I have been here, there has been  a lot of change in friendship. There have been misunderstandings and disloyalty among the nightly catch ups and weekend activities.

I began to ask in my heart, "I loved you. How could you do this to me?" and to God I said, "Why do you choose to take from me? What will I do now?"

Wise friends tell me, "Christy, people will always disappoint you. God never will. He is always there when the people aren't."

God has shown me countless times that I instinctively run to human help, feeling alone, when He wishes that I knew to turn to Him first. He cares to hear and always has. I receive rest in Him, but then I forget it, moving onto tomorrow.

In Scripture, it talks a lot about Israel forsaking their God and turning to other things as their focus. I don't want that to be anywhere near where I am headed.

I think the sickness in my heart has been my inconsistency in living out my knowledge of how as believers in Christ Jesus, love for others is an outflow of the love we have flowing out of our relationship with God. When I extend acts of kindness, I should not be so concerned that people see that Christy did it, but rather be more focus on "as a recognition of God's merciful love for me, I choose to live out God's love. 

Imagine how hard it is to get water, if you forget where it comes from. It is embarrassing to say, but that is how I have been living. You cannot draw from an empty well. I think the best way for me to love others well, is by spending more intimate time with my Maker. I cannot recognize His love unless I invest time in knowing Him. 

Do you still remember your New Year's Resolution? Do you think you are still heading toward it, or have you lost sight of it like many of us? It's April and not too late, which is as true as the fact that God's grace upholds us. Choose to accept His strength.

Please pray for me in this season, to stay near to the heartbeat of God's love. A heartbeat is heard in the stillness by attentive ears. Lord, help me live by it.

Readers, I will pray that you will recognize God's extension of His strength to help you accomplish positive change in your own life!

2017: A Desire to Love Well

New years usually starts with a mindset of "new year, new me." It is a lot easier said than done. My resolution is to not be a hurt person that hurts people. There is a lot to live for cumbering expectations hurt both self and others. I have kept words in my heart that were said by my friend on my freshman hall: "you love well." I want to get back to loving well. After a person falls, they must get up and I do not think I have forgiven all the disappointments that were meant to grow me. Sometimes I feel like I owe people fun stories about college or returns home and feel bad that I enjoy the simple fact of where I am with who I am. Being an incredibly sentimental person I have a collection of people I wish I never distanced from. I have let in people that tore me down and only semi-regretted it. I think part of what it takes to love others well, is that one needs to love their self. I have not been giving my soul, mind, and body enough attention. I will be using 2017 to change that. Then, I will be able to draw from a filling well.

A Reminder About Faith, Hope & Love

Today, I spent part of tonight watching the Christmas Special of "When Calls the Heart"(produced by the Hallmark channel and purchasable by iTunes) with Daddy. The storyline penetrated our hearts with themes of faith, hope and love. We soon forgot about our disagreement and frustration with needing to replay parts to fill in the interrupted dialogue. We watched the director's note that reminded us that faith, hope, and love is what binds us all with unity. Though Christmas is not always the most restful and worry-less, or including many presents and a room full of people, nothing can take away from what it is truly about.

"Love from God is the greatest gift we receive and greatest gift we can give is Love for others."

Thank you God for sending Jesus and giving us hope. Though, I have failed countless times, I am forever grateful for God's grace and love. I am thankful God put people in my life to love. We have the greatest role model for a purpose-driven life in Jesus. He is the greatest fulfillment of promise and act of grace.  He is a friend to those in need, who is always there.

🎀 Prayer of Saint Francis 🎀

Lord make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, Let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; And where there is sadness, Joy.

May it be in the heart to remember that it is a greater joy to give than receive. It is God who gave, for us to receive the greatest gift of experiencing a life with hope and purpose.

The Lord Makes a Way: Milestones of Learning

We have come upon the tail end of 2016. There have been Facebook announcements of events that date back to my freshman year of college 3 years back. A lot has happened since then, but God consistently reminds me "Christy, you are mine. You belong to me. I see great value in you. I am equipping you to do exactly what I have set ahead of you to do for me."

I would like to share with you 3 lessons that God has taught me through this semester.

Lesson #1:  God gives perfect gifts. He knows my every need and the best way/time to give it.
I entered this school term with some doubts about where I'm headed with my program (elementary education). I am nearing the end of my undergraduate program, having declared this major only the year before. Here is some history for you: I had never in the past saw this as a goal for myself before until some people mentioned that they saw that in me. God used them to weird me out with affirmation in an area I had never considered.
God has done a work in me this semester, not only providing me with a great role model of an elementary school teacher to learn from (Ms. Fisher), but also confirming my place by the grades I've managed to keep-by the grace of my professors while taking 7 courses this semester. When I thought that God's grace had run out on me, God answered the prayers of those who have interceded on my behalf.

I feel so humbled as I see myself unworthy, but God has deemed me worthy to contribute to His kingdom by educating young minds and influencing lives with Christ's love. The reason why I want to be a teacher is that I want each student I come in counter with to know their worth in Christ (whether I can verbalize it in the classroom or not) far surpasses their academic capabilities. I do also want them find confidence and grow to love who they are and follow after their hopes for their lives. They are not limited by past experience, living conditions, or others' doubts but that God will build a bridge far beyond that so they can do what He has set aside for them to.

Lesson #2: Loving is a lesson that we keep learning.
This semester, I took on a lot of leader-oriented environments (3 courses and one role) that walked me through and caused me to reflect on the different ways love should be expressed in life. I am guilty of interrupting people while they are speaking and as I am making steps to becoming a better listener, I am loving better. There are times I assume things when it is almost always better to ask than to guess. This allows me to better understand how I can do my part to meet others' needs. This is gold that struck me hard: it is loving that I contribute my honest thought in response to situations. God has been teaching me that voicing my weakness is not intrusive, but opens myself to the Body blessing me with their gifts and play their role with me, as we are a part of a Kingdom community.

Lesson #3: I ask for more, but I have what I need.
Living while comparing myself to others is exhausting. Being a person who loves consistency, the hardest thing I have ever done is leaving home to go to college 2,000 miles away. In my current dorm hall (Floor 2 in Dignitas-The House of Dignity), we start each hall meeting by sharing our current state with the phrase "I want... but I need..." The two sentences I think that outline my time here has been:
1. "I want to be good friends with everyone (or as close as possible), but I need to be faithful in investing in the immediate environment God has placed me in and grow in the friendships that have come naturally over time."
2. "I want to either not go back home or not go back to school, but I need to rest in the consistency of God through the transitions and be thankful for His providence of having two places I am welcome back to."
I am such a friend-oriented person and God knows that it is both a blessing as well as a set back. I have always struggled with choosing academics, family, times of solitude, and God over friends. God is the only fully trustworthy captain to drive my ship. He knows where I am heading and where I ought to go. I have all the resources to navigate the time in life I am at. Prayer is the most powerful thing we can do. It is painful to ask God to realign you. Although, it is the best thing to be headed the right way and reach the destination that I was meant for.

[I would like to invite you to pray with me]:
-Lord, please help Christy recognize that she is secure in Your constancy. Have your love fill the cracks of where she has felt failure, rejection, and belittlement. Have her see Truth.
-Lord, please create a humble heart in Christy, so that she may lead others with an imitation of Christ in servanthood and love, so that only God's name would be made great in her work. Help her know when to ask for help and guide her to where she will find it.
-Lord, being home is hard because it seems that so much has changed, but have Christy see the purposes for why you have placed her where she is and be obedient to what you lead her to.
-Lord, Christy desires to be a light. Let nothing stand in the way of her living out her desire to live for you wherever she goes (dorm, church groups, school breaks, public school classrooms, old friendships etc).
>Lord, may refugees feel your peace and healing as you are with them. As they feel displaced, their home is where you are. Even though they may not know you, grant them mercy with their hurt. Show Yourself to them as their loving Father as you meet their needs. May they meet people with compassionate hearts to invest blessings to them.
>Lord, be with the leaders of this nation as you can change the hearts to align with yours. I pray that this nation will the progression toward one that loves one another and honors you. Guide our leaders to make wise decisions and strengthen the believers to trust you. You have said, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." May your great presence be known. Please be merciful to us as we have strayed from you, but draw us back to you.

Fall Term Has Come Again

Well, it's mid-August, and for me it means I will have one more week in California before I head back to CIU. This semester, I'm going in with changing my major again to elementary education. I would really appreciate prayers about this transition. Everything is working out so far on paper and I am exactly where I should be on track toward graduation in Spring '17. I am trying to figure out what electives I want to take and trying to balance it between fun & practical.

It takes a certain amount of time every break to reach the peace (lacking an overwhelmed ) of returning for another term, since being at home for 3 months gives me a sense of settling and comfort, while knowing that I will be leaving again for 4 months for school. I have been incredibly blessed with good quality time with a great church body, meaningful and insightful fellowship, and the reminder that I am headed where I am supposed to be.

In the past semesters, I have seen God knock down a lot walls I've built for comfort. I feel that knowing the future is unpredictable, while knowing it is in God's hands, is a reason for this peace I have just been handed, and be open to the opportunities.

As summer had started, I have been going back to the Chinese church I grew up in and I found a sense of fulfillment I didn't know was needed. It has felt very home-y smile emoticon Getting to spend a majority of my time with my dad has been so good and it always strikes me much more I learn every time I come back.

I'm excited to go back and help with the middle schoolers at Crossroad's youth group, as it is one of the highlights of my week and for classes to start (surprisingly).

I really do want to stay in touch will you all and hear what you are up to while I am away. Please fill this out if you want to stay in touch during the school year, I'd love to hear about YOU!

http://goo.gl/forms/KsE4MJAnzI

Promises from God Leave Me Greatly Blessed

I helped out as a crew leader for my home church (in California) and felt blessed in being there to walk alongside children seeing the greatness of the love of God as we saw each day's theme being demonstrated through our activities and sharings of my little friends. 

I experienced with them the truths that:

1 God has the power to provide

2 God has the power to comfort

3 God has the power to live

4 God has the power to forgive

5 God has the power to love us forever 

and was reminded that these promises never expire and is true for everyone.

Getting to stay in touch with my friends at school, I've heard handfuls of ways God has blessed them this summer. I know it's an intentional plan by God that I wasn't working at camp back South this summer and got to go home.

The days are getting longer in the summer and time is going by quicker cummulatively and it's great to get a glimpse of the little things (by living in it) before we blink and another half a year has passed.

I'm thankful that everyday is another day to know a loved one better and learn to love them better. I am thankful that I have a handful of people that I stay in touch with across 2,000 miles through these months. I am thankful all the warm smiles I get to exchange with people in my church family, appreciating the familiar humor from familiar that bring belly laughs, and the free (empty of homework) time I can guiltlessly leisure read, stay in with no set agenda, and getting to sleep in occasionally.

Right now, I'm listening to Tom Petty's album "Highway Companion" on my portable CD player with my compiyer off. I'm looking forward to more restful evenings like this. 

Home at Last: Year 2 Has Passed

I have come home and completed my second year in college! Every time I come back, I go on walks with my dad. Today just like each time, we pass my preschool. I think of all the things that have happened in that building: nap time, building block towers, finger painting and how much has happened since then. God has show me much grace and mercy since then.

The courses I took this Spring were:
-The Gospel of John
-Theology 2: Sin & Salvation
-Foundations of Youth Ministry
-Intro to Philosophy
-Math: Concepts & Quantitative Reasoning

At the tail end of my year, I decided to take a 2 week intensive course on Romans. Romans is a course that each 4-year student at CIU is required to take for graduation. An intensive course entails class Monday through Friday from 8AM-12:30PM for two weeks. One of the things I say a lot to God is "there is no way I'll do that, never" and then God chuckles back and says "just you wait". Taking Romans over the summer is one of these things. Our Professor Dr. Naylor gave us the choice of 3 ways we can time the class
Option 1: 8AM-12:30PM with 20 min break x2, no class on Memorial Day
Option 2: 8AM-12 PM with no breaks, with no class on Memorial Day
Option 3: 8AM-12 PM with 10 minute break x2, class on Memorial Day <we chose this one

While I was in class, my friend Sarah let me stay in her apartment room. It was a triple and 2 other ladies were renting out their own rooms in the apartment. It was quite the experience and definitely different to have my own bathroom and a small full scale kitchen after spending 4 semesters in a dorm hall with 25 friends. It was definitely a refresher.

Within my college career, Romans has definitely blown all the courses out of the water. I loved how much discussion we got to have and getting all our questions answered. During the course I did a word study on justification and it was so powerful in impacting my view of my relationship with God. Feel free to ask me to share with you what I learned (too long to write here) and did an exegetical project (chose 3 aspects to study in Romans 15:14-21)

14 I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another. 15 But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder, because of the grace given me by God 16 to be a minister  of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles in the priestly service of the gospel of God, so that the offering of the Gentiles may be acceptable, sanctified by the Holy Spirit. 17 In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God. 18 For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me to bring the Gentiles to obedience—by word and deed, 19 by the power of signs and wonders, by the power of the Spirit of God—so that from Jerusalem and all the way around to Illyricum I have fulfilled the ministry of the gospel of Christ; 20 and thus I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else's foundation, 21 but as it is written,

“Those who have never been told of him will see,    and those who have never heard will understand." <quoted from Isaiah 52:15

Please ask me what I learned from this and if you have any interest, leave a comment below on the blogpost or on the Facebook Page. I'd love to share.

In my extended time in SC, I got to spend 3 more weeks helping at my youth group. I am a middle school co-leader of a small group. The students have really blessed me while I have been being part of the ministry (April 1st) and they've taught me as much (if not more than) as I've taught them. 

I've gotten to spend one more week helping at the Nursing Home/Assisted Living Ministry. We have a church service for those who are in nursing homes. I go to the one that's at 3:30PM ET-5:30PM. We sing hymns with them, get to know them and sit through a lesson spoken by Mr. McCoy (man in charge) or a guest speaker. A lady named Margaret has befriended me and I have been able to hear about her life growing up, her walk of faith, and pray with each other. She encourages me in school and she's one of my most cherished friends. I'm praying that God will keep pouring His love on her and continue to give her good health in my absence. 

Count yourself recapped on my last semester :)

You'll hear more soon

A Pen's Been Lifted

It's been so long since I've put pen to paper in writing my thoughts. I'm learning a lot about what it means to live with joy. One of my classmates Lance mentioned I've Got the Joy by Page CXVI and how in life's low points, that is where we need joy. Spring semesters have always been harder because of it being longer, having just been home and leaving again, and friends' graduations coming up--causing one to wonder what spontaneous event may bring you together again. 

I've been learning that living at home has allowed me to hear a lot of wise words that have followed me here:

1. Keep the main thing the main thing, and the main thing ain't you.

2. Always bring a umbrella even though the forecast doesn't seem to be accurate, 'cause you never know

3. Pray for many opportunities to practice patience rather than praying to be patient

4. Always try your best to tell the truth.

5. God is always there, just pray. God knows what's best for you.

I've been reminded of these few phrases lately, through God's faithfulness. 

I know God has me where I am with good reason and I love what I'm studying (Youth Ministry). I will be taking music classes (Music Theory), and various electives to fill the non-required classes space I have from now until graduation. I am SO excited. 

Lately I am burdened with concern for a certain friend, and I'd like you to pray for them. I'm not going to release their name, but God knows exactly what they need. 

I'm looking forward to going home in a month and am stunned I'm almost done with half of college. 😧

Quality Time

I have just very recently (a few days ago, to be semi-exact) come to the realization that I will be a junior come this next fall semester. This actualization scares me. It seems like not very long ago I had bid the high school activities of high school football games, joining the daily bustle of people crammed in a group that has no resemblance to a line wait to order food at a small window at tutorial and lunch, and attending Grad Night after I had just become a high school alumni. Even more recently, I have spent a full year of spontaneous (late night) food runs to, but not limited to: CookOut, Krispy Kreme, and Sonic. In the past 3 semesters, Panera has become my favorite, I've visited over 15 churches.

...But anyways, before I get too lost and trail back onto the topic of food, I'd like to share a couple of the "Pshaww-oh-everybody-says-that" quotes that I've found is true: "time is a valuable commodity" and "time goes by so fast and is gone in the blink of an eye.

Wherever I am, I want my time to count. I'm quite pleased to say that I've come to a better understanding of myself, but know that I also want to find the best time to invest in my time with people. By the grace of God, I'm learning. 

I've spent this break without much of an agenda. I am content with the time I've been able to spend reconnecting, getting to spend some time walking and crossing the beautiful busy streets of town, and reconvening in attending church here and college group weekly. 

I've refound a sense of enjoyment in solitude. I have been absent from this blog and writing, admitting with the excuse (which is very valid) for being to tired from doing so much school-related writing . Being someone that very much in-person quality time, it has been on of the biggest challenges to voice updates over text written posts with time constraints, and uncertainty of who's actually reading this. But I won't stop writing because I think the enjoyment of it for expression is a gift that shouldn't be squandered.

My roommate Tylar and I have created a great balance of personal dorm room time and shared dorm room time and it had contributed to a very friendly "at-home" feeling. I've been able to go to the art room on campus a couple times with some supplies and do some painting in my free time. It's been an enjoyable outlet as an alternative to writing. It's allowed me to consider taking up new interests and developing current interests further (more info to come). In some of our shared time, we watch funny YouTube videos..it takes a good load off our class demands.

My friend Kinsey and Tylar's friend Michelle were part of the school's performance Fiddler on the Roof--which I think was a big hit!! They velcroed the bottles onto the dancers' hats and it looked both realistic and comedic. The production was well-casted. I actually tried out for it, but it was best I wasn't castes because I wouldn't have had time.

I enjoyed my classes but am enthusiastic to be starting new ones soon. Communicating God's Word was my favorite course of the semester. The process of making s lesson plan was exciting! Finding new information for Historical-Physical-Cultural context (vocabulary from hermeneutics) and figuring a way to best communicate to specific audience has been a more positive experience than normal public speaking. I loved the interactive experience of teaching Mark 4:35-5:1 (Jesus Calms the Storm) to the K-5th grade group of kids I've been a part of tutoring. It was a great feeling to give back to the classmates what I learned through my personally assigned passage of Luke 19:1-10 (Jesus & Zaccheus). I ended it with the song Jesus, Friend of Sinners  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipwEtvWL_3c

I also enjoyed Counseling Youth and Families because of the depth of study in family dynamics and its influence on its members. We had good discussions.

My least favorite class was probably my English Lit class; it included some too-lengthy/dark-toned novels for my taste, but the class was well executed. My favorites were Gatsby and The Joy Luck Club.

This semester will be more shared and intentional. You will hear from me shortly after classes start (Jan 22) again.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I have felt them and deeply appreciate them.

If you have any questions about my college experience or suggestions of books I should take the time to read this semester, let me know in the comments below. I'd also love to hear from your end on how you're doing. Feel welcome to write me a letter or shoot me an email to my Hotmail email (both listed on my college contact page). I promise I will dutifully respond as soon as time allows. 

Talk to you all soon!!

A Season for Remembering

This season is for remembering. Christmastime is often a time where we reflect before New Year's. I've found myself revisiting favorite tv serial over Netflix, the view of a sunny day shining on recently rained on grass, the comforts of familiar food and cherished friendship.

It's really easy to fall into a rhythm--before you take a chance to question this, I mean routine. Being away from home has caused me to be more day-oriented, which leaves me to fill every empty day with some sort of activity. Any free time basically consists of catching up on sleep or going on a short run. Coming home has basically unwound that, haha.

Going out has become less of for me, which in someways is good. The times I do go out and spend money, etcetera becomes time that is meaningful. It's somewhat freeing not having a job during break and allows me more time to expand my time on

1. reading
2. discovering new music
3. creative expression: painting, writing, photography

all which feels more fulfilling when done in the house you grew up your entire childhood in.

After having dropped my English major for a Youth Ministry major and Psychology minor, I've grown to a greater appreciation for leisure reading (or maybe since I have more time for it now on break). After reading The Great Gatsby in lit class and finding a great love for my Gen Psych class, I've grown in the direction of reading books that incorporate psychological aspects such as: PTSD from war, a search for fulfilling need, and who knows what else is to come? 

(written on Christmas Eve but I forgot to post it)

Rise and Shine, it's Christmas Break!

Today is among one of the first days of Christmas break that I've been home for this year.
I've found myself saying the phrase "I'm thankful..." repeatedly the past few months and that's been something that's been giving me joy lately.

I'm so glad to have returned to home as it has been hard being away and being concerned about the drought and storm warnings I've been hearing about from school.

This semester, God has been very clear in teaching me about His love and grace, especially shown through the body of Christ. Through my studies and homesickness, and  I have been met by encouragement. This semester has been a difficult one as every segment of time has its own up and downs. I am still looking for a home church, but I think once next semester starts, I have a direction to move toward. There's a church that's needs help with their youth group and I hope to be respondent to that opportunity, which is definitely a stretch for me, but could be a great way to get engaged in their church. Hopefully, good will come out of that.

This break for me will be refreshing. It will be full of blank canvases, soon to be filled with color,
a reading list with all its items checked off, drawing in the sight of what's left of autumn I did not see.
This break will not be a looking-into-the past, but looking forward to what a better day it will be.
I know I will return full, because here is my home, though there is also.
Yet here is a place with history, tomorrow's lurking mystery passed down from yesterday's change.
How good it is to write again, something that is not a research paper, that doesn't have a rubric..
There will be more.
I am home. This feels free.

I am not about to put down a cup of coffee (of which I don't drink).
As I retreat to bed and slip under my covers,
I do not worry about whether a cold day would come or a warm one,
Que sera sera, I know whatever "will be, will be"

As long as I'm home for Christmas,
because every year leading up to this I have promised with the song: "I'll be Home for Christmas",
my only wish has become a dream come true.

A Whirlwind of Seasons

Hey everyone,
It's been a long time since I wrote last and a lot has happened since. As there are many changes in the weather, that may cause us to question what season we're in, there has been many ups and downs since I have been here.

A big thing I have learned this semester is to trusting the Lord with your all doesn't come easy and you might come out of it still not understanding why things are the way they are. And I think the simple answer that we have to accept is "that's right/best for now". Life isn't consistent and everything has its perfect time. Certain friendships were only meant to last so long, and you find out with time what does and doesn't work for you.

About two weeks ago, I changed my focus of studies. Prayerfully, I have decided to be a youth ministry major and pursue a psychology minor in addition to my required Bible major. This adjustment has been a fun one through the advisor/advisee chapels we've had. Yesterday classes were cancelled for Prayer Day and our major went out to Moe's Mexican Grill. It was so good, in means of food and company. I ordered a Funkmeister taco which had: black beans, chicken, cheese, pico de gallo, lettuce.

I ate this and it was delicious!

I signed up for my spring classes and they are as follows:

CSL is a "course", where I have to perform a certain number of community service hours, that fills my graduation requirement. This spring will be my 3rd semester of it. This fall semester, I have spent my time tutoring low income children in an after school program for K-5th grade (put together by my university) that meets at a church. I have been going weekly with some of my classmates: playing games, helping them do their homework, having snack time and hearing a Bible lesson. Being a part of this program has been both challenging, but also rewarding. It makes me feel privileged to get the education I am and enjoy the youthfulness of the children--seeing them get excited about things, running around everywhere, and the constant curiosity they have that drives them to explore everything.

The photo below is from a photography walk I did with my roommate a few weeks ago.

This tree is located near our admissions building :) So much autumn!

This fall semester has been a very learning experience and has taught me much about the journey God puts us on toward living out His will through establishment of friendships, responsibility to tasks/assignments we may not love, and the blessing of grace He has for us.

I am now home for Christmas, and will update again soon :)

Tucked in & Settled Down

Hey Y'all! ;)
Classes have been running for a week and today is my first afternoon of Labor Day weekend. I'd like to share with you about what my time back has been like.

Praise the Lord and because of your greatly appreciated prayers, my flight landed delayed but, safe in my final destination. Though some of my time has not been restful (sleep-wise), but Lord has been good to me this week.

My roommate's name is Tylar and she's the sweetest. She's a transfer that is studying business and she's a year above me, between my year and the next. She has a soft southern voice and loves cats. We get along quite well and we haven't had any big disagreements, since rooming together. We've gone on a walk around campus on the trails (here's a picture I'm borrowing from her):

We both like adventuring and photography, so there won't be anything short of excitement this year. 

I've been signed up for 5 classes this semester:

• Communicating God's Word-it teaches us how to write out a Bible Study and present one
• 5 Great Novels-analyzing literature: Huckleberry Finn, Wise Blood, The Professor's House, The Joy Luck Club, The Great Gatsby
• General Psychology-studying Freud, Jung, Viktor something.. and their ideas of how the human mind functions and motives behind human actions
• Hermeneutics-how to interpret the Bible for its meaning and organize information from the Word for better understanding
• Counseling Youth and Families: What makes a good Youth and family counselor, attributes of teenagers etc. *

*Counseling Youth & Families is by far my favorite class so far. We start each class with a 15 walk with 2-3 other classmates where we share our answers to questions such as:

1. What was your view of God; yourself; parents during MS/HS?
2. What were you good at in high school?
3. What were your biggest fears when you were in HS?
   I love how it makes the class relational and interactive and not just endless lectures and testing.

The first few days back have seemed unnatural when I get a chance to sit down and realize that I'm not HOME. It's still a bit of a shock to me that I'd been home with my friends and family for almost a semester-length summer and now I'm back to this different setting. I know change will happen this year and much of it will be nothing I can imagine. I really missed the bi-weekly pasta nights and I'm glad I'm back to enjoy them.

The nights are still warm and there isn't a breeze yet so we sleep with the A/C on.."only in SC
 haha X)

We had our first chapels this week (Mon-Thurs) and they've been great and re-energizing. I love the new chapel team and it's great to welcome the new year in fellowship.

There was a Sophomore bonfire I attended on Thursday. I met a girl named Sarah who's a transfer from Oklahoma~who was formally an English major but now is under the new major Business ICD-International Culture Development. She's really nice and you might hear about her again soon. :)

I'm starting to get back into the motion of school and it's starting to be a joyful, yet growing journey!

The Pursuit of Happiness

For the past few days, I have done a lot of thinking about previous conversations and exchanges that have discussed the topic of happiness (to some extent).

In these discussions, I have been able to come to agreement to a few things, and these thought provoking comments have helped me grow a bit in knowing some ideas I stand with.

A few days ago, my godmother and I were sitting down talking about happiness and it's difference from joy. I remembered previous discussions at college group a few times throughout the past few years that differentiated it by: joy not being circumstantial, but having it be a consistency of life. And true joy comes from the Lord. My godmother made me aware of how often I want to be happy and try to achieve that by making fun plans and going out to do things. But I learned that I need to be content with just "being". Be in the moment, enjoy it for what it is--it's not necessary to always be in constant activity and good to find peace in being still.

I have found myself content with the solidarity in painting, organizing thoughts into categorical lists, going on thoughtful walks and collecting ideas for future DIY activities.

Thinking of the conversation that we held at college group about being a good listener and how the fully-attentive (not just responsive) are usually the people that friends and peers like to go and share thoughts and feelings with, made me think. It helped me catch myself when I form half a sentence while someone's almost done talking and back up and bring it back to them.

Communication is a vital part of living and it reflects more than just thoughts. Being good listeners avails us to be the confidante or friend that people choose to share their troubles and celebrate their happiness in achievements, happiness in leisure with, and share joy in life events. I am also incredibly thankful for the grace and forgiveness I am shown when I fail in being a good listener.

As this summer is winding down, I'm trying to choose joy and watch the happiness trickle in steadily with it...carrying that from the summer into the school year.

Packing my bags and getting ready for the journey ahead, but still breathing in the cool suburban 54 degree night/morning air, in my remaining 4 full days I begin a time to: listen deeply, hug tightly, sit quietly, laugh freely and write frequently. And thank God for all the reasons to :)

The Countdown Begins...

I've been away from this blog for a long time. Some of the time spent was trying to figure out what this blog should be. I want it to be more than a list of events that I go to, so this year...that will change.

This summer has been good, not quite what I expected, but when is anything really?
I spend much of my time working as a cashier and on the replenishment team at the local Michael's and at my other job (which was an answer to my prayers--Thank you God for providing!) The rest of the time, I have been working on paintings and giving them away as gifts, baking yummy food like banana bread and cinnamon rolls, and making lists of goals etc.

I think this summer I've really connected with my creative side more than I have at once and this has been really exciting for me. I've been able to use painting as a form of expression (which I haven't given a chance at before). And I thank God that enjoying the task is all you need to carry on with something rather than having to be *amazing at it*. This is one of the greatest blessings that I see that have come out from my first retail job experience. Being so often surrounded by art supplies really encouraged me to venture out of writing and reading, letting the colors guide me across the sheets of paper and canvases. I hope to continue this when school starts, in my free time.

I painted this with only the image of the flower
in mind, and then the rest of it came about.
Now this lives on the writing desk in my dad's room.

I made this painting from an image I found on Google.
I was in the mood to draw something scenic with the ocean
and a sunset.

I never really liked countdowns when I was little, and maybe even up through now. To me, they signify the coming of something anticipated and then the counting stops when you get there. It should continue to seem like something exciting beyond the beginning :)

Less than 10 days from now, I will be airborne back to school and I have mixed feelings toward that fact. People have told me that the first summer back from college is going to be the weirdest, and honestly I don't completely disbelieve them. During Winter Break (my first time home), there were some moments that I was living in that made me feel deja vu about something about college, such as a song we sang at church. It felt like the memories were visually colliding in my mind. It was an awe-striking moment to realize that memories you make away from home are completely unknown to the people that are there, unless you choose to share with them. A year passes by so fast and I've found it difficult to wrap up a whole year's experience/events in a time any short of half an hour to maybe even a couple hours.

But today, I've been able to reflect on this summer and having the inability to gauge how "great" this summer has been. I was able to come up with a short list for you though:

A few things I love about being back:

1. Getting to hug the people I've loved the longest/most (i.e.getting home and hugging my dad) 
2. Getting to hear the adventures and achievements of my friends from home, while getting to celebrate with them, and growing together
3. Going back to my home church
4. Knowing where everything in town is

Adjectives to describe my time back:

1. productive- earning money for myself and being reminded how much work it takes to make it
2. well-fed- nothing compares to home cooked meals, and on top of that, making own treats/meals
3. Pinterest- I'm surprised myself with engaging so much with Pinterest this summer in search of recipes, summer activities, etc..and some of those have inspired me :)
4. loved- I've spent some time reconnecting with people and each of those times were nothing short of great!

So that's a little from me for now, but I'll be posting again soon.

Signing of now and off to enjoy the remains of this Monday -> ->

Ended With a Winter Retreat (2/3/2014-2/9/2014)

OOPS I forgot to post this

This week wasn't really anything out of the ordinary during the weekdays. On Friday after class though, I went on a winter retreat with 60 other students from my school. We signed up out of interest to go to Gatlinberg, Tennessee. 15 cars drove up and the pictures below are of the girls I shared a car with. We rode up playing Contact (the car game). We stayed at a cabin for the three-ish days.

We explored the city and went to Mellowmushroom for dinner, watched the Olympics, did/didn't do our homework and enjoyed the hot tub.

Winter Wonderland (1/27/14- 2/2/14)

It snowed on the night of the 27th (a Monday) and the next two days following it were snow days, meaning that school was canceled!

It was a nice break from school, just a week after getting back. I got the opportunity to relax, appreciate the beauty of nature that living on campus has provided me with.

This is a picture of the view from just stepping outside my dorm building.

During that week, I went around singing Wonderland on my own and "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" with my friends. Funny thing is that we've been singing Snowman for a least a week before it snowed, so even now (as I am writing this, the song has not died among us yet).

The next 4 pictures are various parts of campus covered in snow.

Soccer Field

Trail in the Campus Forest

A House the Campus Forest

Having two days off and one delayed day (2 and a half days of school) was exactly what I need to get into the pattern of being back in school.

I thought constantly thought of home and prayed for rain to come for y'all and I'm so glad it finally has :)

Someone Acknowledges My Wants (1/20/14- 1/26/14)

Have you ever felt like you couldn't possibly figure out everything on your own? I have. There are several people in our lives that we can talk to. One being God.Thinking that one prayer request goes unanswered-None of them do.

I know that I often think that when I don't get what I asked for, it's often considered an 'unanswered prayer', but I've begun to grasp that every request we give God
through prayer is heard and answered. If we don't see it happen as we ask for it to be, His answer is probably

• no, it's not meant to be
• this isn't the right time for this to happen
• I will send someone to help you get there

I truly do believe that everything that happens in my life is INTENTIONAL. Beginning last year, that word struck me with a figurative consciousness--awareness. I've grasped that my hardships and rough days help me appreciate the many decent (and even wonderful) days I have experienced. 

Being away from home and not sure where the declared focus of my studies (major) should be, is definitely a big growing process. 

I am currently trying to decide what ministry/service I should commit my community service hours to. There are a lot of projects going on and I'd love prayer for that. I think that I may find an unexpected interest in the process.

I know that wherever I happen to do my hours, it will be very rewarding if I let it be.

It's been incredible getting to go back home to family and friends. It was exactly what I needed to recharge. Some people back home know more of me (in the sense also involving time) and it's comforting to feel their physical and social embrace. Returning home is incredibly worth it and helped me realize the big heart I have for where I'm from-a fierce sentiment I never knew I had.

Thank you for being a part of home for me. I'm smiling as I type this, because my friendships are a shining example of the fulfillment of an acknowledged 'want'. 

This Week's Incredible Blessings (Just the Beginning) 1/12/2014-1/17/2014

Yay, this is the first blog post of 2013 4 (heh heh)!
Mood: Content
Status: Last week before school starts (starting 1/22-Wed)

This week has already started off great, because last week ended off on a really good note. On Sunday night, the college group I got to, made me feel challenged and I didn't feel any of the hesitation to share my thoughts/opinions on the matter, where I usually in the past didn't find what I had to say to be of much value ("my opinion won't make a difference, and they'll figure it out without me"), but really I feel like I've finally grasped some idea of the purpose of why we are called to fellowship.

Colossians 2:2 (NIV) says, "My hope is that they be encouraged in heart and united in love, so they have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely in Christ, in whom are hidden all the the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

God has shown to me that He can do a lot of work on the internal aspects of a person (whether believer or not), when they decide that they can't figure everything out on their own without any help from others (and possibly choosing to submit to His plan and truly believe that there is no other plan better than His).

Ephesians 4: 11-16 (NIV)
11So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. 14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

This week isn't even over yet! There's still 3 more days in this week & that holds ample time for God to do beautiful work: personal revelations, sincere & meaningful conversations, feelings of being called by God to change something, and having a renewal in choosing to submit to His plan for your life.

I have experienced a little of all this few things I have literally just mentioned. I am humbled & my mind is completely blown to know that a God that can do anything, that has that much of infinite love for His creation would have a plan set out for ME.

Recap: post fall break-now

I do realize that I haven't posted in two months. I have had lots of assignments to do and sorts. So I'll catch you up with some highlights.

SCC concert for Homecoming with alumni Laura Story & artist Jason Gray.

Annual Flag football game north vs south.

Women's south won and men's north won.

Watched my best friends in the school's Fall Play: Play On about people putting on a play 

Feasting in the school caf before thanksgiving break

God's been revealing himself to me a lot lately and it's been both exciting and demanding of my extending out and working on making some positive change for myself and others. Gid is faithful!

And now thanksgiving break has started! 

Posting everyday about it this week :)

Love y'all!

Home in 21 days!